Once upon a time there was an extremely attractive and vivacious married couple named Josh and Brittany. They had an eight-month-old son named Tiny Baby, who was very advanced and clever. Josh and Brittany are very different.
One day Josh and Brittany experience a lot of stress because being an adult is hard and neither of them really want to be one. This is because they are both the youngest child in their families. This results in a lot of arguments about who has to get out of bed to turn off the light. King Baby, being the first born, knows this task will eventually fall to him as soon as he learns to walk and yield a broom handle. He has accepted this eventuality.
Brittany and Josh handle stress differently. They are very stressed but are having friends over for dinner. Josh tells Brittany that they should keep dinner simple and just enjoy their friends. He suggests spaghetti for dinner. Brittany agrees and rejoices at the wisdom of Josh. Josh is happy. Brittany is happy. King Baby is happy.
Brittany and King Baby go to the grocery store to buy things to make spaghetti. She is happy. is happy. Brittany arrives on the pasta aisle and is displeased at the selection. She is really displeased at the stress currently in her life. She directs this emotion at the spaghetti and it's lack of creativity. Tiny Baby feels the first stirrings of unease in his soul. He is very advanced. Brittany decides that her culinary skills demand a greater challenge than spaghetti. She moves on. Tiny Baby rolls his eyes. Again, he is very advanced.
Brittany leaves the grocery store pleased. She has decided to make Indian food complete with homemade naan. Tiny Baby feels trepidation as he goes down for his nap. Tiny Baby has dreams about the day of his birth due to the sounds of strain coming from the kitchen. He is troubled.
Josh comes home thinking that all is well and that his wife is making spaghetti. He opens the door and frowns to find the living room still cluttered with Brittany's organizational project that she started earlier in the week. He walks into the kitchen and sees Tiny Baby covered in flour. Brittany is kneading bread in a fit of manic domestic bliss.
Josh is irritated that Brittany wants him to clean up while she cooks. Brittany is irritated that Josh is not laying prostrate in awe of her culinary mastery. They fight. Tiny Baby is still covered in flour but has found a bag of strawberry flavored yogurt melts and is pleased. Brittany cries. Josh is overwhelmed. They say sorry, kiss, and eat something vaguely resembling naan that is somehow both burnt and doughy. They then shove everything in the baby's room and welcome their unsuspecting friends into their messy home.
Afterwards, they argue about who has to do the dishes. Josh looses because he's closer.
The End.
God, motherhood, marriage and beauty products; What more could you want?
I'm positive this exact situation has occurred at our house. Maybe it was french bread instead of naan. And maybe I tried to make a chocolate cake at the same time. And maybe the dishes were thrown in the oven when the company came over. And maybe, just maybe, that oven was accidentally turned on the next day with the plasticware inside. It happens.
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