A Decade

Josh and I in high school, looking classy 2009ish

Today is the ten year anniversary of Josh and I dating. That's a decade. That's 40% of my life in total. Which is weird to think about. We started dating at 14 and 15 respectively (I'm a year older) which I guess makes us high school sweethearts.

My senior year, circa 2008

I really don't like that phrase, "high school sweethearts", because it seems to be used synonymously with "married young" and "doomed".  And though we did marry young (20 and 21 respectively) I reject the stereotype that this means we're doomed. But I understand the kernel of truth this stereotype starts from. It's just people don't stay the same, especially 14-year-olds. I really doubt anyone would contest that idea. Adults are drastically different than they were as teenagers. I would even go so far as to say that the decade spanning 14 to 24 encompasses some of the most striking changes a person goes through in life.

Josh and I during our engagement photo session, 2010ish

So I suppose it's not so hard to imagine why a relationship built in the 9th grade would fall apart shortly after graduation.

But mine didn't. It came pretty close sometimes but we made it work. And I'm so so so glad we did but I'll be honest, I don't love my husband for things that attracted me to him in the 9th grade because those things aren't attractive to me anymore. Most of the reasons I was drawn to him where pretty shallow anyway (Have you seen how big and brown his eyes are??). When we met I was enamored with his bubbling energy, ability to command a crowd and teasingly playful attitude. He was often the center of our group of friends. Some of these traits have survived the years but, while I enjoy them, I can't say that I call those things the glue that binds.

But I do find him attractive.

Our wedding day, circa 2011

Because, just as he has changed, my tastes have changed as well. And I decided when we got married and for several years before that, that I wouldn't allow my eyes to wonder. I refused to compare him to another man. I find grown-up Josh attractive, in part, because I wouldn't let myself pay attention to anyone else. And because, well, he's awesome! My tastes my have changed but they are still satisfied by him. But that didn't happen by accident. It took work and force of mind.

But that's not to say that I'm not also just totally enamored with him.

Expecting Tiny Baby

If the past ten years had suddenly been erased and I met Josh for the first time this year, would he stand out to me? Would I be drawn to him like I was in high school? Yes. I really would be. I would see his quite strength, his kindness and compassionate notice of the overlooked person. I would see that he didn't need to be the center of my group of friend for him to keep me focused on him. I would notice that his laugh consumes his whole body and is so contagious. I would see a man of strong faith who would not let his wife or family stray from God's path. Not to mention the whole 6ft of tall, dark and handsome that is my husband. And yes, those big brown eyes still slay me.

Josh doing a bible study on our honeymoon

I read somewhere that it's normal for couples to hit a low point every 7-10 years where they look at their spouse and realize they don't connect as well anymore. We hit that. We found new wonderful things in each other to love. I can't wait to read this at 35-years-old and reflect on what I love about Josh at that moment. I guarantee it will be different with just the right amount of  sameness thrown in.  That's what makes this such an adventure.

Proverbs 30:18-19
There are three things that amaze me—
no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman. (NLT)